The importance of feeling safe in labour

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about safety; what it really looks like for different people, and how it can feel so unique from one person to the next.

Every person I work with has different experiences, needs, and expectations which shapes what makes them feel truly safe during labour.

For some, it’s privacy and a calm environment. For others, it’s gentle words, being heard, or knowing their choices are respected. Feeling safe isn’t just about the space around you - it’s emotional, physical, and the most personal thing.

In this post, I wanted to explore why feeling safe matters so much in labour, and what it can look like in practice.

When we think about labour, we often focus on contractions, timings, and positions. But underneath all of that, one of the most powerful influences on birth is how safe you feel.

Feeling safe isn’t a luxury; it’s essential. Your body labours best when it feels calm, respected, and unobserved. Safety allows your nervous system to relax, your hormones to flow, and allows your instincts to guide you.

Why does safety matter?

Birth is driven by hormones, and especially by oxytocin; the hormone that fuels contractions, connection, and instinct. Oxytocin thrives when you feel calm, loved and supported.

However if you feel watched, rushed, or dismissed, adrenaline takes over. Adrenaline can have its place in labour - but much later in the process - and if it comes in early can slow labour, make sensations more intense, and pull you out of your natural rhythm.

This isn’t just about “thinking positive.” Your nervous system is responding, truthfully, to the environment around you.

Is safety only physical? (Spoiler - it’s emotional too!)

Safety in labour isn’t just about the environment, lighting, or privacy. Emotional safety, trauma-informed care, and the language used around us play a huge role in how secure and supported we feel, and this directly affects how our bodies works during labour.

• Emotional safety
  Feeling understood, believed, and truly listened to can make a world of difference to us. Labour often bring up strong emotions all at once: excitement, fear, doubt, overwhelm. When our feelings are acknowledged without judgement, our nervous system can stay relaxed, our body will move with its natural rhythm, and we feel more connected to ourselves, our baby, and our birth partner.

• Trauma-informed care
  Many of us come to birth carrying previous experiences - it can be healthcare related, past births, violence of different kinds, or other life events - that may affect how safe we feel. Trauma-informed care means recognising and honouring that history. It involves asking for consent before any touch or intervention, offering choices whenever possible, and avoiding words, actions, or approaches that could trigger stress or fear. This approach can help and allow our body and mind to stay grounded, even if we’ve had difficult experiences before.

• Language
  Words are powerful, and the words spoken around you can soothe, guide, and reassure - or unintentionally create tension, anxiety or bring you back to the trauma itself. Gentle, clear, and non-judgmental communication helps your nervous system relax, reinforces your autonomy, and builds trust. Feeling heard and respected through language is just as important as the physical space you’re in.

These elements are just as important as privacy, familiar surroundings, or a calm environment.

Feeling safe - what does it feel like?

Well, everyone experiences safety differently, but it often looks like:

• Privacy: Space to move and make sounds without interruption.

• Familiarity: Soft lighting, supportive faces, and comforting items from home.

• Respect: Being included in decisions, spoken to kindly, and never rushed. Respect also means honouring your identity, sexual orientation, and any religious or cultural practices that are important to you.

• Autonomy: Having real choices, with the time to make them.

• Trust: In your body, instincts, and birth team.

When these elements are present, our body can drop into the deep, instinctive place where our labour flows naturally.

How safety {shapes} our experience

When we feel safe, our body can:

• release oxytocin freely

• soften rather than brace

• cope with intensity

• rest between waves

• make clearer decisions

• move instinctively

• stay grounded in the experience

Safety won’t guarantee a certain outcome, but it profoundly shapes how our birth feels, and how we carry it afterwards, looking back and reflecting upon it.

You deserve safety in every sense

No matter where you give birth - at home, in hospital, or in a birth centre - you deserve to feel emotionally and physically safe. Care that is gentle, respectful, trauma-informed, and person-centred, allows your body and mind to open fully.

If the system around you is busy, understaffed, or stretched thin, that is not a reflection on you. You deserve safety and respect regardless of circumstances, and it’s always okay to take the space, support, and care you need.

Take a moment to check in with yourself, and reflect upon what safety may look like to you. Is there anything that you need that you haven’t asked for? Is there anything you want to add to your birth planning, or mention to your birth partner or birt team?

Remember: safety is your right, not a privilege ✨

Fanny x