Birth After Trauma -

I wanted to write a bit about birth trauma, as from experience I know how difficult it can be to navigate your way forward in pregnancy when you're right in the middle of it.

Birth trauma happens and more so than we realise. What is trauma for you might not be trauma for someone else, and that doesn’t mean that your experience is not valid. It just means we are all different.

Birth trauma can show itself in many ways and forms. It can feel scary and overwhelming to navigate your way through it, especially if you're pregnant, feeling like your body is on high alert in a fight or flight mode. Going through it can bring up so many emotions — fear, hope, grief — often all at once.

Here are some tips.

Talk about it!

It might seem like a no-brainer, but talking really can help.

A birth debrief (or working with another type of professional) can help make sense of your last experience and help begin the healing process as well as identifying your triggers and put words onto what you’re feeling.

Whether it's going through your maternity notes, talking about your perception of events, or just being heard, having someone holding space for you can make a huge difference.

Plan for emotional safety

When creating your birth plan, on top of any medical and practical preferences, consider your emotional needs as well. You could include preferred language, boundaries (vaginal examinations, being told to push for example) or any known triggers.

Sometimes when we deal with a trauma it manifests itself in form of PTSD, intrusive thoughts, or flashbacks of the events in question. Perhaps it manifests itself as a physical place. Many times it is the feeling of not being listened to, believed, and not respected in different ways that comes back to us.

A detailed birth plan that outlines your emotional needs clearly, can help your birthing team navigate this in order to care for you in your preferred way.

Build a trusted team

Knowing who's going to be by your side can make all the difference — whether that's a doula, midwife, or birth partner who knows you, and understands your needs. You want to surround yourself with people who can provide a safe space for you, and make you feel respected and supported - not someone who takes your choices away from you.

Continuity of Care is proven to reduce anxiety and improve outcomes but as we know, not always provided within the maternity system here in the UK. A good idea could be, if this is something that is important to you, to get on your local homebirth team ( if your borough has one, and yes - even if you have no intention of actually birthing at home at the present!) as they would provide you with this - and you would also have your appointments at home, where (hopefully) you feel safe and protected.

Building your birthing team is as much about who you want there as who you don’t want there. Sometimes the people we have been taught that we ‘should’ want at our birth, is not the ones we actually want there with us. Try to feel within yourself what your gut is telling you, and who you’d want there to champion you on your babys birthing day.

Finding your inner tools

All we need is often found within ourselves - we just need to find it. Here are some ways of grounding techniques to consider. It might be good to start these earlier rather than later in your pregnancy, as our mind would need to get used to them, to associate these things with comfort and safety for ourselves.

Hypnobirthing – not just for relaxation, but for reclaiming calm, control, and confidence. You might want to take a hypnobirthing course, read a book or just look up breathing techniques online (in for 4, out for more, is a good start!)

Visualisation - I am a big believer of this, but it does require some work as it might take some time to manage your focus in the beginning. You could visualise yourself doing anything; giving birth, holding your baby, or being somewhere calm, quiet where you feel loved, and safe. These places and spaces look different to each one of us! There is no wrong place; your mind will guide you to where and what your inner place means for you.

Relaxation tapes - this might be provided by your hypnobirthing teacher if you choose to do a hypnobirthing course, or you might easy find some online that works for you. I used to fall asleep to mine!

Affirmations and mantras - I love working with affirmations and mantras, finding what works for you. I also find creating these for yourself calming, as your mind gets injected with so much loving, positive thinking! Put the affirmations up wherever you can see them; on your walls, on the mirror in your bathroom, next to your bed, in the kitchen - they can go everywhere, and will give you positivity and light whenever you spot them. My favourite ones in my second pregnancy were “today is the most beautiful day of my pregnancy’ and 'I trust my body, I trust my baby’. Create some that works for you!

Scent - Different scents provide the mind with different things. You might want to use a roll on scent on your wrists or your temples, or perhaps spray your pillow with a scent before going to bed.

A final note to say - you have the authority over your birth. You have every right to ask questions, to say no, to change your mind and then change it again. You know how to make the best decision for you.

NB I am not an expert or giving medical advice - these are purely my tips based on my own experience and known knowledge.